I finally have the will-power to sit back and write a good to honest blog entry about my thoughts, prayers, and dreams. It's been a hectic semester so far here at school, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it. God keeps blessing me more and more everyday and I am still amazed at how much he keeps blessing me, especially as I give myself more to him everyday.
Class are making it hard to want to study. It seems like the more I study the more I struggle and although I can rock the short answer quizzes and essays, when it comes to multiple choice and true and false, I stink like poo on the bottom of your shoe. Sometimes I wish I had that logical brainsmarts just so I can make it through that portion of school. The boys downstairs have it....maybe I can suck out the brilliant minds of Edwin, Gabriel, and the Rittenhouse brothers. :) (Leah the Alien Brain Stealer).
Fireflies, definitely give me company tonight. I am up late once again reading over some study questions and talking to some amazing people online. You know, I don't really mind that much. It gives me something to hope in. Gives me people to take joy in. "Beneath the snowy veil, content like a panda, still breathing the mountain air..." Shelby, today is one of the days I miss my little sister and her insane dances to Owl City on long just the two of us car trips. You make me happy to have an awesome family.
"Take my hand, hold it tight, I will protect you, from all around you..." I sometimes feel like Phil Collins really knew that he was talking about. Not only is God always there for you, but he really puts people in your life to help you through anything. I am so thankful for the group of friends and people that I have met here at EMU. Our trip to the cabin was priceless. A small little cottage with 4 boys and 3girls sharing life stories, testimonies, and love. A love of a savior. I can remember the most priceless moments. Standing around singing, eating together around the picnic table and giggling, have all of us on the bed at once talking and it then breaking when Bekah sat down, fixing the bed..me laying on it...and then Austin and Taylor attacking me in my sleep and breaking the bed again, the long morning hike up the mountain to the top where we had the most beautiful and breathtaking service ever. If you would of saw this sight, you would definitely of had to have someone wipe up the drool. IT WAS A HECK OF A HIKE but when we got to the top, we all picked rocks, read the word, and sang praise songs. I felt like the Lord was sitting right next to me, holding my hand, telling me that he told me so on having amazing friends. ..."I thank God for [them] everyday" 1 Corth. 1:17
The more and more that I continue praying to God, the more God keeps placing things on my heart to pursue. Hopefully I have the strength to continue God's will, even at the sake of being hurt.
This music and theater ministry program idea is so great. The departments are so supportive and so much more than what Shepherd has offered me. They "give me hope for future..." and make me want to do great things for this world. As I continue praying, I feel like God will tell me what he has in store for me. :) I am so excited to see what he has planned up in this master plan of his. Patience....Patience LEAH. Lord, please keep mending me in the midst of this healing procelain heart. :)
- Leah
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Finding God in Harry Potter?
Can you see Christian lessons taught in Harry Potter?
Here is a research paper I wrote about how harry potter can really promote christian beliefs and that wiccan witchcraft is not present in the books. It is a real interesting though process I went through and my teacher really enjoyed reading it... as I enjoyed writing it. By the way, I wrote this before the 7th book was released.
Does Harry Potter Promote Witchcraft?
What question arises into the youth's head when the subject of literature is brought into perspective? Every year it's the same one. When is the next Harry Potter book being released? The story of the eleven year old wizard who was accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has captivated the hearts of millions of adolescent minds across the world. However, is that a good or a bad thing? Parents are worried that the books will lead their children into the hands of witchcraft and occult practices. Practices that are clearly against that of Christianity beliefs. But does it really? The question being raised is: Does Harry Potter really promote witchcraft? Well, in an overall perception, the story line of Harry Potter does not promote witchcraft but it is mainly a make-believe version to what some recollect to be "dark arts".
First, witchcraft or Wicca is a religion based on the worshiping of a deity. From this deity, witches receive power for their magic. The Goddess, the Wiccan Deity, gives them either good or white magic or evil or black magic. The black magic was thought to seek revenge on people who treated them informally. In a nutshell, this religion practices the art of invocational magic. This is the magic that invokes the spirit of the deity, magic not used in any of the Harry Potter books. Harry Potter never portrayed the art of deity pronounced magic. The witches in the Potter world portrayed wand waving incantational magic, also used in stories such as Cinderella. Also, the use of muggles in the books show how some people can not use magic unlike in Wicca where anyone can be a witch. This is a main key that is often overlooked.
JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, wanted to write a fantasy series that would get minds wandering, wandering into the realm of imagination. Her intentions of the magical books were not to have people believing that she practiced or promoted Wicca but to have a spark or interesting storyline. Rowling, being a strong Presbyterian follower, only used about 1/3 of real alchemy information in her books. Alchemy, the chemical study in which things could be turned into gold, was used to help promote imagination and morality. Not in any way was it used to promote children to take up witchcraft.
What most Christian followers are worried about is what the bible tells them. In Deuteronomy 18:10-12, the bible says that "There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his sons and his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord, and because these things are an abomination, the Lord your God drives them out from before you." Well, yes, it is wrong for Christian believers to promote or engage in anything that would be found as witchcraft or Wiccan, but how can reading a story like Harry Potter be wrong if the witchcraft analogy being using is fiction and can not be practiced. Rowling's type of witchcraft is wand waving and broom stick flying. Has anyone ever seen either tasks actually performed? No. So, how could Harry Potter be put under a category with Wicca if the magic being used is not real? It can't, that's the synopsis.
What a lot of people overlook is what is written right on the cover. Harry Potter is a fiction book series. This important factor tells everyone that the books are not real and should not be taken as anything other than. Just like a lot of other fantasy works such as The Wizard of Oz and Hansel and Gretel , Harry Potter is mainly just used for fun reading and promotes courage and friendship. You can't ride brooms or wave wands to produce shiny beams. "If this subject offends people, that isn't what I want to do, but I don't believe in censorship of for any age group , and this is what I wanted to write about. The book is really about the power of imagination. What Harry is learning to do is develop his full potential. Wizardry is just the analogy that I use. If anyone expects it to be a book that seriously advocates magic will be disappointed. Not least because I do not believe in magic in that way," writes Rowling in response to the accusations pushed at her books.
It is all fiction and should be taken as such.
In a lot of libraries and stores across the world, people are fighting to have Rowling's books taken off the shelf. What would banning the books do for the literature readers all over? Nothing. Banning the book would just make people want to read them even more. It's like when parents tell their children that they can't have cookies until after dinner but the kids try to sneak past that one little chocolate chip before it's even ready. The desire to read the books would grow rapidly higher and it would be wrong to take them away. People should see that they are only fiction and that it is nothing different than what past fantasies have already written.
When the story of the pre-teen wizard hit the shelves, people began to worry about the idea that the books equaled all things evil and people believed that the books were Satanist and should be banned. To some people, reading Harry Potter is detestable to the Lord. Actually, the books could be used to distribute a strong, symbolic story of Christian beliefs just like that of C.S. Lewis.
In the summer of 2006, a church in Charles Town, West Virginia, taught Christian lessons using the pronounced Harry Potter series. The sermons taught kids to art of good morals and character. Also, what one found is that the books got more children involved and interested in the church. It was a book that kids have read and the talks yanked at their interests. Since then the church's youth group has doubled in size.
Lessons that can be taught through the Harry Potter books are very symbolic. In the story, Gryffindor represents the good things in life alongside courage and bravery. It represents heaven. In ancient mythology, a griffin is a creature that consists of half lion and half eagle; The lion was known to be king of the land and the eagle known to be king of the skies. This represented how God is king of heaven and earth. In the books, the Gryffindor house wants to triumph over evil and do the good things that count. Slytherin, on the other hand, is another house at Hogwarts. To get into this notorious house, it would call for extreme wit and cleverness. What makes Slytherin seem bad is the way that the wizards from it use their wit and cleverness to trick people. That represents God's gift of free will to the world. The sorting hat(God) just told the students(world) which house to go to based on their choices and emotions. What resided in their mind. When Harry chose not to want to go to Slytherin, that made him different from the rest and it was based on his free will. Just as Jeremy Bowlby said in his sermon, "What House are you in?", "We are not chosen by the hat, we make the choice ourselves".
Another lesson that the books portray are their abilities to be compared to biblical references. From the beginning of the series, the storyline follows the event where Harry's mother saved his infant life from the wrath of Lord Voldemort with her loving nature. The Shield of Faith protects one from the enemy. By having faith in God over the enemy, the enemy can not get to believers because their faith is strong. God protects them with his love. This can be compared to Lily's love for Harry and how it protected him.
The Sword of the Spirit on the other hand is the word of God. The Sword is the power of knowledge. Just like in Matthew 4:11 where Jesus is tempted by the devil in the desert. Jesus knew the scriptures and followed them. The devil also studied the scripture but did not obey it. This made the difference. Just like in Harry Potter where Hermonie could get the trio out of trouble because she had studied the spells and followed them when needed. Just like Hermonie, people can use the word of God to defeat the enemy.
In some instances, Harry Potter would allow it's readers to see symbolism of God's love through objects that Harry himself would use. The invisibility cloak, a piece of clothing that Harry had inherited from his father to be able to appear invisible, was a main key point used throughout the entire series. We learn that God wants us to triumph over evil just as Jesus did at the beginning of his ministry. From that, the choice between good and evil becomes a little easier. Furthermore, we learn that Jesus is righteous and following in his steps protects us from evil just as Harry invisibility cloak kept him safe and invisible.
Another question people rise up on their stampede to wondering whether Harry Potter is a good reading choice for their children or not is : Why does death occur in each of the books if they are not dark and wicked? Well, the answer is, yes, death is a main key point but what is important is what we learn from it. In the books, love triumphs over death and makes the stories more moral. Just like how Dumbledore, Lily, and James all died out of love. The morality teaches kids that yes, death is apart of life but love is just as strong. In the end, the story teaches that love can fight over the bad things in life, even death.
One of the most important lessons that Harry Potter, a book that many people think to promote witchcraft, teaches is the Helmet of Salvation and how it reminds us that Jesus died for us. In the books, Dumbledore uses a mind pensive to keep and recollect his thoughts. This can be compared to remembering Jesus' death to Dumbledore's mind pensive.
There are many more lessons that can be taught using the fun filled Harry Potter books. Kids and even adults find them interesting and moralizing. The few, however, that overlook the fact that the books are fiction and filled with moralizing values should see for themselves that Harry Potter is not a bad reading choice. How can a book that is filled with so many life lessons and trials be so bad? Just because the use of magic is being portrayed does not makes the books horrible. The magic used in Rowling's books are not any different than that of the prestige Disney movies. People just seem to want something to point fingers at and accuse of doing wrong. Overall, Harry Potter and JK Rowling do not promote witchcraft at all, but only the fault of people overlooking the word fiction on the cover.
Here is a research paper I wrote about how harry potter can really promote christian beliefs and that wiccan witchcraft is not present in the books. It is a real interesting though process I went through and my teacher really enjoyed reading it... as I enjoyed writing it. By the way, I wrote this before the 7th book was released.
Does Harry Potter Promote Witchcraft?
What question arises into the youth's head when the subject of literature is brought into perspective? Every year it's the same one. When is the next Harry Potter book being released? The story of the eleven year old wizard who was accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has captivated the hearts of millions of adolescent minds across the world. However, is that a good or a bad thing? Parents are worried that the books will lead their children into the hands of witchcraft and occult practices. Practices that are clearly against that of Christianity beliefs. But does it really? The question being raised is: Does Harry Potter really promote witchcraft? Well, in an overall perception, the story line of Harry Potter does not promote witchcraft but it is mainly a make-believe version to what some recollect to be "dark arts".
First, witchcraft or Wicca is a religion based on the worshiping of a deity. From this deity, witches receive power for their magic. The Goddess, the Wiccan Deity, gives them either good or white magic or evil or black magic. The black magic was thought to seek revenge on people who treated them informally. In a nutshell, this religion practices the art of invocational magic. This is the magic that invokes the spirit of the deity, magic not used in any of the Harry Potter books. Harry Potter never portrayed the art of deity pronounced magic. The witches in the Potter world portrayed wand waving incantational magic, also used in stories such as Cinderella. Also, the use of muggles in the books show how some people can not use magic unlike in Wicca where anyone can be a witch. This is a main key that is often overlooked.
JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, wanted to write a fantasy series that would get minds wandering, wandering into the realm of imagination. Her intentions of the magical books were not to have people believing that she practiced or promoted Wicca but to have a spark or interesting storyline. Rowling, being a strong Presbyterian follower, only used about 1/3 of real alchemy information in her books. Alchemy, the chemical study in which things could be turned into gold, was used to help promote imagination and morality. Not in any way was it used to promote children to take up witchcraft.
What most Christian followers are worried about is what the bible tells them. In Deuteronomy 18:10-12, the bible says that "There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his sons and his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord, and because these things are an abomination, the Lord your God drives them out from before you." Well, yes, it is wrong for Christian believers to promote or engage in anything that would be found as witchcraft or Wiccan, but how can reading a story like Harry Potter be wrong if the witchcraft analogy being using is fiction and can not be practiced. Rowling's type of witchcraft is wand waving and broom stick flying. Has anyone ever seen either tasks actually performed? No. So, how could Harry Potter be put under a category with Wicca if the magic being used is not real? It can't, that's the synopsis.
What a lot of people overlook is what is written right on the cover. Harry Potter is a fiction book series. This important factor tells everyone that the books are not real and should not be taken as anything other than. Just like a lot of other fantasy works such as The Wizard of Oz and Hansel and Gretel , Harry Potter is mainly just used for fun reading and promotes courage and friendship. You can't ride brooms or wave wands to produce shiny beams. "If this subject offends people, that isn't what I want to do, but I don't believe in censorship of for any age group , and this is what I wanted to write about. The book is really about the power of imagination. What Harry is learning to do is develop his full potential. Wizardry is just the analogy that I use. If anyone expects it to be a book that seriously advocates magic will be disappointed. Not least because I do not believe in magic in that way," writes Rowling in response to the accusations pushed at her books.
It is all fiction and should be taken as such.
In a lot of libraries and stores across the world, people are fighting to have Rowling's books taken off the shelf. What would banning the books do for the literature readers all over? Nothing. Banning the book would just make people want to read them even more. It's like when parents tell their children that they can't have cookies until after dinner but the kids try to sneak past that one little chocolate chip before it's even ready. The desire to read the books would grow rapidly higher and it would be wrong to take them away. People should see that they are only fiction and that it is nothing different than what past fantasies have already written.
When the story of the pre-teen wizard hit the shelves, people began to worry about the idea that the books equaled all things evil and people believed that the books were Satanist and should be banned. To some people, reading Harry Potter is detestable to the Lord. Actually, the books could be used to distribute a strong, symbolic story of Christian beliefs just like that of C.S. Lewis.
In the summer of 2006, a church in Charles Town, West Virginia, taught Christian lessons using the pronounced Harry Potter series. The sermons taught kids to art of good morals and character. Also, what one found is that the books got more children involved and interested in the church. It was a book that kids have read and the talks yanked at their interests. Since then the church's youth group has doubled in size.
Lessons that can be taught through the Harry Potter books are very symbolic. In the story, Gryffindor represents the good things in life alongside courage and bravery. It represents heaven. In ancient mythology, a griffin is a creature that consists of half lion and half eagle; The lion was known to be king of the land and the eagle known to be king of the skies. This represented how God is king of heaven and earth. In the books, the Gryffindor house wants to triumph over evil and do the good things that count. Slytherin, on the other hand, is another house at Hogwarts. To get into this notorious house, it would call for extreme wit and cleverness. What makes Slytherin seem bad is the way that the wizards from it use their wit and cleverness to trick people. That represents God's gift of free will to the world. The sorting hat(God) just told the students(world) which house to go to based on their choices and emotions. What resided in their mind. When Harry chose not to want to go to Slytherin, that made him different from the rest and it was based on his free will. Just as Jeremy Bowlby said in his sermon, "What House are you in?", "We are not chosen by the hat, we make the choice ourselves".
Another lesson that the books portray are their abilities to be compared to biblical references. From the beginning of the series, the storyline follows the event where Harry's mother saved his infant life from the wrath of Lord Voldemort with her loving nature. The Shield of Faith protects one from the enemy. By having faith in God over the enemy, the enemy can not get to believers because their faith is strong. God protects them with his love. This can be compared to Lily's love for Harry and how it protected him.
The Sword of the Spirit on the other hand is the word of God. The Sword is the power of knowledge. Just like in Matthew 4:11 where Jesus is tempted by the devil in the desert. Jesus knew the scriptures and followed them. The devil also studied the scripture but did not obey it. This made the difference. Just like in Harry Potter where Hermonie could get the trio out of trouble because she had studied the spells and followed them when needed. Just like Hermonie, people can use the word of God to defeat the enemy.
In some instances, Harry Potter would allow it's readers to see symbolism of God's love through objects that Harry himself would use. The invisibility cloak, a piece of clothing that Harry had inherited from his father to be able to appear invisible, was a main key point used throughout the entire series. We learn that God wants us to triumph over evil just as Jesus did at the beginning of his ministry. From that, the choice between good and evil becomes a little easier. Furthermore, we learn that Jesus is righteous and following in his steps protects us from evil just as Harry invisibility cloak kept him safe and invisible.
Another question people rise up on their stampede to wondering whether Harry Potter is a good reading choice for their children or not is : Why does death occur in each of the books if they are not dark and wicked? Well, the answer is, yes, death is a main key point but what is important is what we learn from it. In the books, love triumphs over death and makes the stories more moral. Just like how Dumbledore, Lily, and James all died out of love. The morality teaches kids that yes, death is apart of life but love is just as strong. In the end, the story teaches that love can fight over the bad things in life, even death.
One of the most important lessons that Harry Potter, a book that many people think to promote witchcraft, teaches is the Helmet of Salvation and how it reminds us that Jesus died for us. In the books, Dumbledore uses a mind pensive to keep and recollect his thoughts. This can be compared to remembering Jesus' death to Dumbledore's mind pensive.
There are many more lessons that can be taught using the fun filled Harry Potter books. Kids and even adults find them interesting and moralizing. The few, however, that overlook the fact that the books are fiction and filled with moralizing values should see for themselves that Harry Potter is not a bad reading choice. How can a book that is filled with so many life lessons and trials be so bad? Just because the use of magic is being portrayed does not makes the books horrible. The magic used in Rowling's books are not any different than that of the prestige Disney movies. People just seem to want something to point fingers at and accuse of doing wrong. Overall, Harry Potter and JK Rowling do not promote witchcraft at all, but only the fault of people overlooking the word fiction on the cover.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Overcoming Life With A Creator
What do all these verses have in common?
1. "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. The will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and now grow weary , they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
2. "Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my savior my god." Psalm 42:11
3. "My heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay." Acts 2:26-27
Lets think, all these quotes come from the word. The word of God. And he wants us all to have...hope in everything that we try to do in life. Especially when we have him behind us. I was thinking about this word of "hope" in the car today. It's not only an idea, a name, or a thought process, but it is a lifestyle, which we should all live by day in and day out. I was thinking about it because I realize that about a few months to about two weeks ago, I was starting to act unlike myself. I was worried about school, money, and everything else really imaginable. I sat there in the car, rain pouring over the windshield, christmas music playing in the background, and two windshield wipers, about to met their grave, thinking and running the past through my head, trying to make sense of it all. I came to the conclusion that I have been suffering, and from my last note, you remember that I use to have nothing to believe in. Now the suffering was occurring because of things attacking my life now, especially since I have been trying to grow in my faith and pray much more often. The devil was attacking me, causing me to worrying about everything and causing me to see past good things that Jesus was offering me. “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” I Peter 5:8. He was, he was walking around trying to devour all happiness and hope that I had of trying to stay worry free. I was sad and I needed refuge.
So, there I was, sitting in car, driving, remembering all the mistakes that I have made. Remembering being at the mall, only 45 minutes earlier, and seeing a group of teenagers spit horrible words and phrasing out loud, while mothers with tiny children run away in hopes that innocent ears would be spared. I prayed, in the mall, walking to Waldens, praying that God would help those people and that they would notice their mistakes as well, and ask for the best gift of the season of Christ. I prayed for hope that they would know the love that I have. Now, I may be confusing you right about now...you are thinking.. wait, she just said that she was sad and didn't understand now she switches back.. what a hypocrite, right? Well, let me take you back. About two weeks ago, as school started coming to an end and I had some of the worst arguments, I started praying again, thinking, "hey, maybe God will listen to me," and I just gave everything to God. Everything and all my worries. Things started to look up for me. The devil kept trying to attack using Richard, my family, and everything else that he could. Finally I had enough. God said that I have control over the devil, not the other way around. I have recently read a description of something these lines by Dale A. Robbins. It helped me understand that I HAVE CONTROL OVER THE DEVIL because Christ is with me.
"The good news is that, although the Devil is described “like” a “roaring lion,” in reality he has no actual authority over believers. He is not really a lion, but roars “like” a lion would to bluff his victims into fear and intimidation. Satan is a liar and deceiver and uses deception as his weapon to gain advantage over those who are ignorant of the limitations of his power.
When Jesus gave his life on the cross as the sacrifice for the sins of the world, He also redeemed us from Satan’s power and dominion over us. “Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it” (Col. 2:15). “...For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8). Praise God! Satan is already a defeated enemy! His legal authority was neutralized by the finished work of Christ on the cross.
Every Believer has Authority over Satan
So if Satan is already defeated, why then is he still able to cause trouble? Because, even though Christ broke Satan’s legal power, the Lord has left it up to us to “enforce” the Devil’s defeated condition. It's our responsibility to use the authority that Christ has given us to put Satan in his place.
As a believer, you need not fear Satan, but realize and exercise the authority which God has given you over the Devil. Every person whose name has been recorded in the “Lamb’s Book of Life” (all those who are saved) have been given authority over the power of the Devil. “Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you” (Luke 10:19).
You have the right to use the authority of the name of Jesus to repel and drive Satan out of your territory and to break his grip over spiritual strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4). When you recognize Satan’s activity and covert operations, take authority over him in the name of Jesus! Just as Jesus and the early apostles did, command Satan to leave (Mark 16:17).
The Devil hates the name of Jesus and detests an atmosphere of praise and worship which exalts the name of Jesus. Christ said, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matt. 18:20). Be assured, the presence of Christ will expel the presence of Satan. Lifting up Jesus in praise will send the Devil running!
Slam the Door on the Devil
The name of Jesus will drive Satan away. But it would be futile to order Satan’s departure if we leave the door wide open for him to flourish. The Bible tells us to not “give place” for the Devil (Eph. 4:27). That is, provide no area of your life where Satan can be comfortable or establish strongholds.
The enemy can always be found working in those who entertain sin, disobedience, rebellion or a self-willed nature. Unforgiveness toward others is another area which Satan flourishes (2 Cor. 2:11). Furthermore, any area of your life which is not submitted to God is considered open territory to the Devil, and he has the right to bring his expanding influence to those areas.
This is why the scripture says, “...submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). The only way to actually resist Satan is to submit yourself fully to God. This was what Jesus was referring to when He said, “...the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me” (John 14:30). Jesus had submitted himself to God, and although the Devil would try Him, there was nothing for the Devil to use to gain an advantage.
Rejoice Christian! God is in you, and YOU have been given power over the Devil! By submitting to God, and exercising your authority in the name of Jesus, you are more powerful than the enemy. “...He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4)."
Isn't that empowering?! There is no need for worry. Only hope! Hope that tomorrow will bring wonder and joy. And that, through Christ, if he comes tomorrow, I will be sent into heaven and made to live to forever. Lately, I realized that sadness wastes your life so be happy, do good things in life, and know that suffering is not always a bad thing. "Without suffering, there would be no compassion." That is one of my favorite quotes. It reminds that everyone suffers, because only through pain and dirt can flowers bloom and love and joy shine through. Kind of like, storms. I walked out the mall today, expecting more rain.. but miraculously, the sun shone bright through the rainclouds and warmed my face. I couldn't help but smile and say "thank you jesus for the rain to be gone." And the salvation army people bells, look at me and smiled. Maybe I touched a heart. Just maybe. I do that a lot now. "Thank you Jesus for tea. Thank you Jesus that the bottoms of my pants didn't get wet. Jesus, I am not going to worry about where those stamps went, you will provide. Jesus, I am running so short on money and I have applied to about 15 jobs with no reply, you will provide and I will be uplifted. etc." I just give to him, and thank him for the people in my life and the things that I can do for him. And in the idea of suffering, people wonder why god makes us suffer, but you have to think of the outcome. God wants the absolute best for us, and we make decisions, therefore, if our decisions take us away from where God's wonderful plan has us, suffering brings us back because after all it was our decision, and at the end we get what we get what we don't deserve of love, joy, and God's plan. And when people say that they don't have love, joy, and "God's plan", that is because they are still living in their mistakes and not having hope. HAVE HOPE that God will provide, and life will become such a better place for us.
"We have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe." 1 Timothy 4:10
1. "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. The will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and now grow weary , they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
2. "Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my savior my god." Psalm 42:11
3. "My heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay." Acts 2:26-27
Lets think, all these quotes come from the word. The word of God. And he wants us all to have...hope in everything that we try to do in life. Especially when we have him behind us. I was thinking about this word of "hope" in the car today. It's not only an idea, a name, or a thought process, but it is a lifestyle, which we should all live by day in and day out. I was thinking about it because I realize that about a few months to about two weeks ago, I was starting to act unlike myself. I was worried about school, money, and everything else really imaginable. I sat there in the car, rain pouring over the windshield, christmas music playing in the background, and two windshield wipers, about to met their grave, thinking and running the past through my head, trying to make sense of it all. I came to the conclusion that I have been suffering, and from my last note, you remember that I use to have nothing to believe in. Now the suffering was occurring because of things attacking my life now, especially since I have been trying to grow in my faith and pray much more often. The devil was attacking me, causing me to worrying about everything and causing me to see past good things that Jesus was offering me. “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” I Peter 5:8. He was, he was walking around trying to devour all happiness and hope that I had of trying to stay worry free. I was sad and I needed refuge.
So, there I was, sitting in car, driving, remembering all the mistakes that I have made. Remembering being at the mall, only 45 minutes earlier, and seeing a group of teenagers spit horrible words and phrasing out loud, while mothers with tiny children run away in hopes that innocent ears would be spared. I prayed, in the mall, walking to Waldens, praying that God would help those people and that they would notice their mistakes as well, and ask for the best gift of the season of Christ. I prayed for hope that they would know the love that I have. Now, I may be confusing you right about now...you are thinking.. wait, she just said that she was sad and didn't understand now she switches back.. what a hypocrite, right? Well, let me take you back. About two weeks ago, as school started coming to an end and I had some of the worst arguments, I started praying again, thinking, "hey, maybe God will listen to me," and I just gave everything to God. Everything and all my worries. Things started to look up for me. The devil kept trying to attack using Richard, my family, and everything else that he could. Finally I had enough. God said that I have control over the devil, not the other way around. I have recently read a description of something these lines by Dale A. Robbins. It helped me understand that I HAVE CONTROL OVER THE DEVIL because Christ is with me.
"The good news is that, although the Devil is described “like” a “roaring lion,” in reality he has no actual authority over believers. He is not really a lion, but roars “like” a lion would to bluff his victims into fear and intimidation. Satan is a liar and deceiver and uses deception as his weapon to gain advantage over those who are ignorant of the limitations of his power.
When Jesus gave his life on the cross as the sacrifice for the sins of the world, He also redeemed us from Satan’s power and dominion over us. “Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it” (Col. 2:15). “...For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8). Praise God! Satan is already a defeated enemy! His legal authority was neutralized by the finished work of Christ on the cross.
Every Believer has Authority over Satan
So if Satan is already defeated, why then is he still able to cause trouble? Because, even though Christ broke Satan’s legal power, the Lord has left it up to us to “enforce” the Devil’s defeated condition. It's our responsibility to use the authority that Christ has given us to put Satan in his place.
As a believer, you need not fear Satan, but realize and exercise the authority which God has given you over the Devil. Every person whose name has been recorded in the “Lamb’s Book of Life” (all those who are saved) have been given authority over the power of the Devil. “Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you” (Luke 10:19).
You have the right to use the authority of the name of Jesus to repel and drive Satan out of your territory and to break his grip over spiritual strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4). When you recognize Satan’s activity and covert operations, take authority over him in the name of Jesus! Just as Jesus and the early apostles did, command Satan to leave (Mark 16:17).
The Devil hates the name of Jesus and detests an atmosphere of praise and worship which exalts the name of Jesus. Christ said, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matt. 18:20). Be assured, the presence of Christ will expel the presence of Satan. Lifting up Jesus in praise will send the Devil running!
Slam the Door on the Devil
The name of Jesus will drive Satan away. But it would be futile to order Satan’s departure if we leave the door wide open for him to flourish. The Bible tells us to not “give place” for the Devil (Eph. 4:27). That is, provide no area of your life where Satan can be comfortable or establish strongholds.
The enemy can always be found working in those who entertain sin, disobedience, rebellion or a self-willed nature. Unforgiveness toward others is another area which Satan flourishes (2 Cor. 2:11). Furthermore, any area of your life which is not submitted to God is considered open territory to the Devil, and he has the right to bring his expanding influence to those areas.
This is why the scripture says, “...submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). The only way to actually resist Satan is to submit yourself fully to God. This was what Jesus was referring to when He said, “...the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me” (John 14:30). Jesus had submitted himself to God, and although the Devil would try Him, there was nothing for the Devil to use to gain an advantage.
Rejoice Christian! God is in you, and YOU have been given power over the Devil! By submitting to God, and exercising your authority in the name of Jesus, you are more powerful than the enemy. “...He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4)."
Isn't that empowering?! There is no need for worry. Only hope! Hope that tomorrow will bring wonder and joy. And that, through Christ, if he comes tomorrow, I will be sent into heaven and made to live to forever. Lately, I realized that sadness wastes your life so be happy, do good things in life, and know that suffering is not always a bad thing. "Without suffering, there would be no compassion." That is one of my favorite quotes. It reminds that everyone suffers, because only through pain and dirt can flowers bloom and love and joy shine through. Kind of like, storms. I walked out the mall today, expecting more rain.. but miraculously, the sun shone bright through the rainclouds and warmed my face. I couldn't help but smile and say "thank you jesus for the rain to be gone." And the salvation army people bells, look at me and smiled. Maybe I touched a heart. Just maybe. I do that a lot now. "Thank you Jesus for tea. Thank you Jesus that the bottoms of my pants didn't get wet. Jesus, I am not going to worry about where those stamps went, you will provide. Jesus, I am running so short on money and I have applied to about 15 jobs with no reply, you will provide and I will be uplifted. etc." I just give to him, and thank him for the people in my life and the things that I can do for him. And in the idea of suffering, people wonder why god makes us suffer, but you have to think of the outcome. God wants the absolute best for us, and we make decisions, therefore, if our decisions take us away from where God's wonderful plan has us, suffering brings us back because after all it was our decision, and at the end we get what we get what we don't deserve of love, joy, and God's plan. And when people say that they don't have love, joy, and "God's plan", that is because they are still living in their mistakes and not having hope. HAVE HOPE that God will provide, and life will become such a better place for us.
"We have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe." 1 Timothy 4:10
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
It Was Then I Carried You...
"For I know the plans I have for you, exclaims the Lord, plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. And if you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you, says the Lord. I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land."
-Jeremiah 29: 11-14
"For I know the plans I have for you.....", great, comforting words? At least, comforting for the people who believe that this God will do something for them. The more I think about it, the more humans trick themselves into thinking that he isn't there for them. I know that I've thought those very words before. "God, yea, you're there, but what are you doing to me!?" "What do you have for life?" "What have I done to deserve this?" Notice the quotations? I have stated every one of those sentences, including numerous more. I use to think that God was great and comforting when he wanted to be, but he was also that same god, trying to burn off any feelers we had left with his mighty magnifying glass. Comforting? Nope. Life for me was normal. I told people that I believed in God and I lived every day trying to stay "holy." However, all that was for men, showing PEOPLE I was "righteous." Everyday was an ongoing struggle to fit what society told me to do and look like, making myself skinny as a pole on a 900 calorie diet running about 3 miles a day, with 500 sit-ups and 300 windmills.I wanted comfort and still through all the dieting and pretending, I was not who I wanted. Inside, I didn't want to follow the plans he had for me. Me praying for something, something to maybe bring him back into my life, for real. All that was two years ago, before I met my two best friends.
Richard was god's gift to me and the relief I prayed for. I was beautiful, caring, funny, and God's child to him. I was Leah and nothing else. I started to slowly become comfortable with myself and now I don't care what people think of me. I have a God who loves me and who I can call my amazing best friend. How did I find him? Belief. You know, I thought that there was a god...but when I thought about heaven and hell, I couldn't fathom what it was or if I would go there. It and God himself was hard to grasp. Through faith and the word, I was uplifted, understanding that God is who he is, for us. He made us to fulfill his almighty glory, his wonder, and his grace. It takes me back to two stories, one being the story of the enslaved Hebrews of Egypt. God wanted his people free and years went on... and God had not let be it be so. Some of the Hebrews became discouraged, until Moses came. Sounds like this generation. We get so frustrated when God does not give us our wants NOW. But who says what we want is what we actually want? Catch that? Who says what we want, is really what we want? God has greater plans than we have for ourselves...we just have to be open to them. I know that it gets hard, and that we sometimes don't believe that he has greater plans for us. Patience and Obedience, and we can have the best of the best, because God made it so. We just have to understand that.. I know I have. Now I am here, still struggling and still trying to listen to him. It's hard, but the wait....the wait is so worth it. We just have to be open for love. And we will receive love like we have never experienced. The Hebrews made it to their promised land through faith but...still......they fought and disregarded God's law.... Sounds like us. We got the promise of opportunities through Jesus, but we fight and disregard, falling into sin. It's hard to resist temptation and hard not to listen to the plans of God.. but it is worth the wait and the regard. Remember life is prized, so look to God and the JOY(different from happiness and for another lesson) will last. I am reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called "Passion and Purity" and it helps me understand the plans that God has for me. (When I get more into it, I will discuss later.) The more I read it, the more it helps me. God has plans for you, no matter, you just have to be willing to "stay open to the father. " Now what about me? I am living for God and not for men. I am living for a great God who is blessing me everyday. Let him work in you. It just takes time.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, Thank you for the ability to be able to pray to you for help and for you! You have our lives planned for us. We just have to be willing to listen and live through you. Help us to be patient because you will not always answer straight away. We want to get the wonder of you! Amen.
-Jeremiah 29: 11-14
"For I know the plans I have for you.....", great, comforting words? At least, comforting for the people who believe that this God will do something for them. The more I think about it, the more humans trick themselves into thinking that he isn't there for them. I know that I've thought those very words before. "God, yea, you're there, but what are you doing to me!?" "What do you have for life?" "What have I done to deserve this?" Notice the quotations? I have stated every one of those sentences, including numerous more. I use to think that God was great and comforting when he wanted to be, but he was also that same god, trying to burn off any feelers we had left with his mighty magnifying glass. Comforting? Nope. Life for me was normal. I told people that I believed in God and I lived every day trying to stay "holy." However, all that was for men, showing PEOPLE I was "righteous." Everyday was an ongoing struggle to fit what society told me to do and look like, making myself skinny as a pole on a 900 calorie diet running about 3 miles a day, with 500 sit-ups and 300 windmills.I wanted comfort and still through all the dieting and pretending, I was not who I wanted. Inside, I didn't want to follow the plans he had for me. Me praying for something, something to maybe bring him back into my life, for real. All that was two years ago, before I met my two best friends.
Richard was god's gift to me and the relief I prayed for. I was beautiful, caring, funny, and God's child to him. I was Leah and nothing else. I started to slowly become comfortable with myself and now I don't care what people think of me. I have a God who loves me and who I can call my amazing best friend. How did I find him? Belief. You know, I thought that there was a god...but when I thought about heaven and hell, I couldn't fathom what it was or if I would go there. It and God himself was hard to grasp. Through faith and the word, I was uplifted, understanding that God is who he is, for us. He made us to fulfill his almighty glory, his wonder, and his grace. It takes me back to two stories, one being the story of the enslaved Hebrews of Egypt. God wanted his people free and years went on... and God had not let be it be so. Some of the Hebrews became discouraged, until Moses came. Sounds like this generation. We get so frustrated when God does not give us our wants NOW. But who says what we want is what we actually want? Catch that? Who says what we want, is really what we want? God has greater plans than we have for ourselves...we just have to be open to them. I know that it gets hard, and that we sometimes don't believe that he has greater plans for us. Patience and Obedience, and we can have the best of the best, because God made it so. We just have to understand that.. I know I have. Now I am here, still struggling and still trying to listen to him. It's hard, but the wait....the wait is so worth it. We just have to be open for love. And we will receive love like we have never experienced. The Hebrews made it to their promised land through faith but...still......they fought and disregarded God's law.... Sounds like us. We got the promise of opportunities through Jesus, but we fight and disregard, falling into sin. It's hard to resist temptation and hard not to listen to the plans of God.. but it is worth the wait and the regard. Remember life is prized, so look to God and the JOY(different from happiness and for another lesson) will last. I am reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called "Passion and Purity" and it helps me understand the plans that God has for me. (When I get more into it, I will discuss later.) The more I read it, the more it helps me. God has plans for you, no matter, you just have to be willing to "stay open to the father. " Now what about me? I am living for God and not for men. I am living for a great God who is blessing me everyday. Let him work in you. It just takes time.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, Thank you for the ability to be able to pray to you for help and for you! You have our lives planned for us. We just have to be willing to listen and live through you. Help us to be patient because you will not always answer straight away. We want to get the wonder of you! Amen.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Eastern Mennonite University - A New Calling
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
The more I read this verse, the more everything makes sense. "Plans to PROSPER you and not to HARM you...."
It was normal, mid-week evening, and the increase in heaviness was beginning to become overbearing. I hated the idea of going back to school, filling out scholarship forms, and returning to a place where I felt unsafe and uncomfortable. I had no idea what it was. Shelby had the normal gang of "adopted kids" over and even their company was too much. I needed release, something to break the chains on my heart, and something to sweep away the storm hovering over my heart. The more and more I thought I could fight it off, the more I realized that I needed something bigger than myself. "'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10. I realized, I needed a savior, the one I already knew but the one I needed to put all my trust in. So, off I went to my haven - the garden tub in my mother's bathroom - the only place in the house where all 6 other people living in the house excluding the "adopted kids" couldn't bother me.
The bubbles were enormous, enough for me to engulf myself in warm heaven, and the smell of vanilla candles lit and fragranced the room. The sound of Jars of Clay played across the room, giving the atmosphere a unique sense of...me. I stepped into the steamy water and slipped into Comatose, "I want to feel you next to me." The more I tried to talk myself out of feeling discouraged, the more discouraged I felt. I was denying his help. BAM, then it hit me.
"I hate feeling like this, I'm so tired of trying to fight this, I'm asleep and all I dream of, Is waking to you,Tell me that you will listen, Your touch is what I'm missing, And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you..." "Leah, WAKE UP and stop thinking that YOU can fix everything yourself. It's not probable without me. LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING." I had heard that before. I am sure JoAnne or Kent brought that up a few times up at the podium. Where was that from? Somewhere in the old testament, I'm sure. The more I kept hearing this verse in my head, the more I wanted to remember the rest of the verse. "Lean over to the side of the tub and write down what I am telling you..." I didn't take that twice and leaned over, dripping on the floor nearby and disregarding my drippage, grabbed the post-it notes. What he said was short, but I wrote it down anyway. "Talk to your mother." Well, that was simple, wasn't it? Not quite. After this, I had this overWHELMING want to read his word. I grabbed my bible and right there in the bathtub opened up to Proverbs. "Trust in the Lord and not lean on your own understanding," Proverbs 3:5 was telling me! OF COURSE, how could I be so blind? I turned back to the beginning of the book and started fresh.
Solomon was telling me about wisdom, how true wisdom comes from the Lord. The Lord wanted me to TRUST ONLY in him and not on the world and what they had to offer. All through the first chapter of Proverbs, I was being told that he would teach me and give me "a chain of honor around my neck" and not weight of the world, that the sinful world will try to entice me and I should "turn my back on them." He told me that if I continued to let others rob me of my earthly and spiritual gifts then, his will would not be fulfilled for my life. So, at that moment of finishing the first proverb, I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around myself, ran to a fully crowded dining room and screamed for my mother.
The looks I got from everyone in the house were priceless. They were looks of bewilderment, surprise, concern, and humor. I mean, as Veggie Tales says...."He was surprised at the sight to see Larry in a towel..." :). Mom came a running, like mom always does, and I said..."I HAVE to talk to you, NOW." We continued back into her bedroom, I clothed myself (in the bathroom of course), and I began to spill my heart. I reminded her of high school and my dream of music ministry at either OVU or EMU-a place to where I could build my faith, I reminded her of my hard year at Shepherd and I how I hated going to school there,I reminded her of my fear of debt and EVERYTHING revolved around it, I told her about my bathroom experience, and I told her of my encounter with God. With amazement, she just sat back and nodded. Have I ever told you about how much I look up to my mother? She has always cared for me, respected me, took up for me, and supported me. I knew she would understand and we continued to talk. The more I talked and the more I whipped verses out of my bible to tell her, the more everything became clear. I was falling deeply in love with Christ and I wanted to do HIS will, no matter what. Although I had just told her, I sat there for a minute and processed everything.
This past semester at Shepherd was pure hell for me. Seriously. I had changed my major for the sixth time, I had put up with persecution and grade altering because of my faith, and I hated the pressure of always getting the HIGHEST grade possible. I could remember a friend of mine asking me, "Leah, why are you here in education? I mean, I know you would be a good teacher, but I also know you, and you love music and jesus, why not do your dream from before? Why are you here?" She was the same friend who I spent time in my car talking about God's love and the same friend who would have to calm me down over a B on reflections. The more I think about her now, the more I realize she is right, Shepherd isn't for me and it never was. I always wanted a small Christian school and I always wanted a place where music and God went together. I was tired of having one foot in the church and one foot in the world, where I felt that no matter how hard I tried to reach out to people, the more I got slapped in the face. I needed to stop being lukewarm and put all trust in him.
On the same note, I had to look at my past way before high school and college. Ever since I was little, I hated the idea of debt. I was always so scared of paying someone back. Just the other day, my sister Shelby said, "Leah do you remember when we were little and Dad would go to the gas station? Do you remember how he would always ask if we wanted anything and you ALWAYS said no?" I was always scared of not having money and I was always scared of not being able to support myself later. The more this fear consumed me, the more I realized I was falling away from God's plan. Just a few Sundays ago, Ben did a sermon on tithe, and the more I thought about how revelant it was to my life, the more I started to read up more about tithing. God wants us to trust him with ALL our money, not just in tithing, but also in doing his will. If we do so, later on down the road, we will gain more than we gave, not just money wise but spiritually wise. I wanted to give everything to God and to do so I had to learn to trust.
All the things running through my mind felt unaltered, god sent, and carefree. I was not worried about mistakes because I knew that they were laid out for me from God. I felt like Harry Potter actually. The more and more Dumbledore, Hagrid, McGonagall, Lily and James, and everyone laid it out for him, the more it became steady for Harry to complete his tasks. Now, they definitely weren't easy and the road was hard, but the help from others made his tasks...manageable. I felt God pulling on my heart to listen to him and do his will, no worry about everything else but put all strength in him. The devil was trying to keep me at Shepherd and he was trying to keep me away from my dream.
Mom sat there for almost an hour and a half listening to me rant on about my bible lesson and discovers. Silence swept the room and she continued to listen to me talk about God's plan. I wanted EMU so bad I could taste it, I wanted the environment of Jesus, I wanted the education of music ministry, and I wanted the college atmosphere that I always wanted. It wasn't because of "a stab in the dark" it all felt right and God sent. I felt this was my calling. Ever since I started helping with worship team, I felt at peace and joyful. I was who I wanted to be. In love with my savior, studying music, and pursuing the life that God had laid out for me. Finally, mom spoke up.
"I completely support you a hundred percent. If this is what God is calling you to do, then do it, because only he can give you joy." Those words felt like chocolate to my hears. :) "If you want to get in this semester, you better get your ball on the roll. But I seriously support you." Ever since then, mom has been with me through the whole process. She helped me figure out everything. I e-mailed admissions, talked to JoAnne and Mr. Russell for references, and got the ball....rolling.
The admissions staff was really sweet. I worked with a lady named Lisa who waived all my transfer fees and sent me all the paperwork. I had everything, transcripts, applications, student recommedations, and forms filled out and sent in less than two days. I began talking to people at church about my decision and everyone became excited for me. I felt so at peace and joyful, that I knew it was right. That God was my strong hold and he truly loved me. All the paperwork was filed a week ago and....
"You have been accepted to Eastern Mennonite University and you have recieved a yearly scholarship of 3,500." I screamed so loud, I think the earth raddled. I was official a EMU student studying Music with a concentration in Interdisciplinary Studies. Music Ministry, here I come. Debt was no longer a fear, my life was finally panning out, and I felt...at peace. "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." - Phil 4:19 "Be Still and Know that I am God." These verses were becoming reality and I felt...."Lord will fight for you; you have only to be still." Exodus 14:14.
So, why am I writing all this? I want your support too. Yes, McCormmick is a lot of money but...God is bigger than any earthly treasure. He will support me and help me do his will. I have completely sacrificed myself for him. I would love to know that I have your support as well. If you really want to help, I would love any donation and the more to help school the better. You don't have to, of course!, but if you feel lead to, I will not turn it away. This is the plan God has for me...he has called me to "prosper and not to harm me," I completely and udderly trust his understanding...will you trust me? I would love to hear from you throughout the year and I would love letters. (Who doesn't like mail?) :) Thank you guys for always being there for me and I can't wait to tell you about the next step God has for me. I love you.
The more I read this verse, the more everything makes sense. "Plans to PROSPER you and not to HARM you...."
It was normal, mid-week evening, and the increase in heaviness was beginning to become overbearing. I hated the idea of going back to school, filling out scholarship forms, and returning to a place where I felt unsafe and uncomfortable. I had no idea what it was. Shelby had the normal gang of "adopted kids" over and even their company was too much. I needed release, something to break the chains on my heart, and something to sweep away the storm hovering over my heart. The more and more I thought I could fight it off, the more I realized that I needed something bigger than myself. "'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10. I realized, I needed a savior, the one I already knew but the one I needed to put all my trust in. So, off I went to my haven - the garden tub in my mother's bathroom - the only place in the house where all 6 other people living in the house excluding the "adopted kids" couldn't bother me.
The bubbles were enormous, enough for me to engulf myself in warm heaven, and the smell of vanilla candles lit and fragranced the room. The sound of Jars of Clay played across the room, giving the atmosphere a unique sense of...me. I stepped into the steamy water and slipped into Comatose, "I want to feel you next to me." The more I tried to talk myself out of feeling discouraged, the more discouraged I felt. I was denying his help. BAM, then it hit me.
"I hate feeling like this, I'm so tired of trying to fight this, I'm asleep and all I dream of, Is waking to you,Tell me that you will listen, Your touch is what I'm missing, And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you..." "Leah, WAKE UP and stop thinking that YOU can fix everything yourself. It's not probable without me. LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING." I had heard that before. I am sure JoAnne or Kent brought that up a few times up at the podium. Where was that from? Somewhere in the old testament, I'm sure. The more I kept hearing this verse in my head, the more I wanted to remember the rest of the verse. "Lean over to the side of the tub and write down what I am telling you..." I didn't take that twice and leaned over, dripping on the floor nearby and disregarding my drippage, grabbed the post-it notes. What he said was short, but I wrote it down anyway. "Talk to your mother." Well, that was simple, wasn't it? Not quite. After this, I had this overWHELMING want to read his word. I grabbed my bible and right there in the bathtub opened up to Proverbs. "Trust in the Lord and not lean on your own understanding," Proverbs 3:5 was telling me! OF COURSE, how could I be so blind? I turned back to the beginning of the book and started fresh.
Solomon was telling me about wisdom, how true wisdom comes from the Lord. The Lord wanted me to TRUST ONLY in him and not on the world and what they had to offer. All through the first chapter of Proverbs, I was being told that he would teach me and give me "a chain of honor around my neck" and not weight of the world, that the sinful world will try to entice me and I should "turn my back on them." He told me that if I continued to let others rob me of my earthly and spiritual gifts then, his will would not be fulfilled for my life. So, at that moment of finishing the first proverb, I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around myself, ran to a fully crowded dining room and screamed for my mother.
The looks I got from everyone in the house were priceless. They were looks of bewilderment, surprise, concern, and humor. I mean, as Veggie Tales says...."He was surprised at the sight to see Larry in a towel..." :). Mom came a running, like mom always does, and I said..."I HAVE to talk to you, NOW." We continued back into her bedroom, I clothed myself (in the bathroom of course), and I began to spill my heart. I reminded her of high school and my dream of music ministry at either OVU or EMU-a place to where I could build my faith, I reminded her of my hard year at Shepherd and I how I hated going to school there,I reminded her of my fear of debt and EVERYTHING revolved around it, I told her about my bathroom experience, and I told her of my encounter with God. With amazement, she just sat back and nodded. Have I ever told you about how much I look up to my mother? She has always cared for me, respected me, took up for me, and supported me. I knew she would understand and we continued to talk. The more I talked and the more I whipped verses out of my bible to tell her, the more everything became clear. I was falling deeply in love with Christ and I wanted to do HIS will, no matter what. Although I had just told her, I sat there for a minute and processed everything.
This past semester at Shepherd was pure hell for me. Seriously. I had changed my major for the sixth time, I had put up with persecution and grade altering because of my faith, and I hated the pressure of always getting the HIGHEST grade possible. I could remember a friend of mine asking me, "Leah, why are you here in education? I mean, I know you would be a good teacher, but I also know you, and you love music and jesus, why not do your dream from before? Why are you here?" She was the same friend who I spent time in my car talking about God's love and the same friend who would have to calm me down over a B on reflections. The more I think about her now, the more I realize she is right, Shepherd isn't for me and it never was. I always wanted a small Christian school and I always wanted a place where music and God went together. I was tired of having one foot in the church and one foot in the world, where I felt that no matter how hard I tried to reach out to people, the more I got slapped in the face. I needed to stop being lukewarm and put all trust in him.
On the same note, I had to look at my past way before high school and college. Ever since I was little, I hated the idea of debt. I was always so scared of paying someone back. Just the other day, my sister Shelby said, "Leah do you remember when we were little and Dad would go to the gas station? Do you remember how he would always ask if we wanted anything and you ALWAYS said no?" I was always scared of not having money and I was always scared of not being able to support myself later. The more this fear consumed me, the more I realized I was falling away from God's plan. Just a few Sundays ago, Ben did a sermon on tithe, and the more I thought about how revelant it was to my life, the more I started to read up more about tithing. God wants us to trust him with ALL our money, not just in tithing, but also in doing his will. If we do so, later on down the road, we will gain more than we gave, not just money wise but spiritually wise. I wanted to give everything to God and to do so I had to learn to trust.
All the things running through my mind felt unaltered, god sent, and carefree. I was not worried about mistakes because I knew that they were laid out for me from God. I felt like Harry Potter actually. The more and more Dumbledore, Hagrid, McGonagall, Lily and James, and everyone laid it out for him, the more it became steady for Harry to complete his tasks. Now, they definitely weren't easy and the road was hard, but the help from others made his tasks...manageable. I felt God pulling on my heart to listen to him and do his will, no worry about everything else but put all strength in him. The devil was trying to keep me at Shepherd and he was trying to keep me away from my dream.
Mom sat there for almost an hour and a half listening to me rant on about my bible lesson and discovers. Silence swept the room and she continued to listen to me talk about God's plan. I wanted EMU so bad I could taste it, I wanted the environment of Jesus, I wanted the education of music ministry, and I wanted the college atmosphere that I always wanted. It wasn't because of "a stab in the dark" it all felt right and God sent. I felt this was my calling. Ever since I started helping with worship team, I felt at peace and joyful. I was who I wanted to be. In love with my savior, studying music, and pursuing the life that God had laid out for me. Finally, mom spoke up.
"I completely support you a hundred percent. If this is what God is calling you to do, then do it, because only he can give you joy." Those words felt like chocolate to my hears. :) "If you want to get in this semester, you better get your ball on the roll. But I seriously support you." Ever since then, mom has been with me through the whole process. She helped me figure out everything. I e-mailed admissions, talked to JoAnne and Mr. Russell for references, and got the ball....rolling.
The admissions staff was really sweet. I worked with a lady named Lisa who waived all my transfer fees and sent me all the paperwork. I had everything, transcripts, applications, student recommedations, and forms filled out and sent in less than two days. I began talking to people at church about my decision and everyone became excited for me. I felt so at peace and joyful, that I knew it was right. That God was my strong hold and he truly loved me. All the paperwork was filed a week ago and....
"You have been accepted to Eastern Mennonite University and you have recieved a yearly scholarship of 3,500." I screamed so loud, I think the earth raddled. I was official a EMU student studying Music with a concentration in Interdisciplinary Studies. Music Ministry, here I come. Debt was no longer a fear, my life was finally panning out, and I felt...at peace. "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." - Phil 4:19 "Be Still and Know that I am God." These verses were becoming reality and I felt...."Lord will fight for you; you have only to be still." Exodus 14:14.
So, why am I writing all this? I want your support too. Yes, McCormmick is a lot of money but...God is bigger than any earthly treasure. He will support me and help me do his will. I have completely sacrificed myself for him. I would love to know that I have your support as well. If you really want to help, I would love any donation and the more to help school the better. You don't have to, of course!, but if you feel lead to, I will not turn it away. This is the plan God has for me...he has called me to "prosper and not to harm me," I completely and udderly trust his understanding...will you trust me? I would love to hear from you throughout the year and I would love letters. (Who doesn't like mail?) :) Thank you guys for always being there for me and I can't wait to tell you about the next step God has for me. I love you.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
If Life Was Like Star Trek....
Even through my late night insomnia, morning comes way to early to the sound of a rather sick pepaw. Every morning I am left wondering with a sense of guilt stuck in the pit of my stomach. How can I help him? Prayer? Sure, that'll be something.At least it's something.
I am getting ready to start my last bit of financial aid to fax off to EMU. I am actually rather nervous about it. I hope I get it in on time. People keep emailing me left and right. Gosh, I hate mone and sometimes I wish that we lived in the times of Star Trek. They don't barter with anything, rather they do things to better themselves. That way everything works and there is no fight for materialistic things (blowing ships up and whatnot is people just being stupid...). My biggest fear is debt and the factor that I may be stuck in this chain of not being my own self. I know I shouldn't fear because fear is worry but I am getting better at working on it.
I am getting ready to start my last bit of financial aid to fax off to EMU. I am actually rather nervous about it. I hope I get it in on time. People keep emailing me left and right. Gosh, I hate mone and sometimes I wish that we lived in the times of Star Trek. They don't barter with anything, rather they do things to better themselves. That way everything works and there is no fight for materialistic things (blowing ships up and whatnot is people just being stupid...). My biggest fear is debt and the factor that I may be stuck in this chain of not being my own self. I know I shouldn't fear because fear is worry but I am getting better at working on it.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Fire - Yearing for Your Will
God give me your fire! The more and more I get close to you, the more I realize that you are so ALL KNOWING and you are good! :) I need you to love me and sometimes I sit here and wonder why... It is so hard for me to understand why you do the things that you do, but I need to realize that you are the lead, the dance, and heck, I am not always going to know everything. You run the song smoothly one after the other. You have my life planned out. You are a God that heals. :)
When I realized that I needed to start taking this silly medicine, I was afraid that people would think I was crazy. I sometimes wonder if that is the reason that Richard left, but you know, I have found so much more to hope in! I realize that I am not crazy, you just want my joy to be pure and you want my thoughts to be clear, not all jumbled here and there.
Now as I sit here in the house and see EMU so close, I hunger so much for your word and the ability to spread it. I want to do it in a way that honors you and doesn't seem pushy. I just love you so much and I want to tell the world about what I have learned. I feel it's only fair. I want to come back to Oakland maybe and start a music/theatre ministry to spread the gospel. Maybe even travel. And even through all the past anger with Richard, I feel that you are calling me to have patience and use the opportunities that you have given to make you come first.
From the front porch looking in...that day will come one day. :)
I feel like Elizabeth Elliot. She prayed for guidance and learned that your relationship is the only true one. If we prepare our heart, you will bring us what we need. This is getting easier the more and more I await for you. :) If I ever were to be in a loving relationship again, I know that I want someone to study you with...someone to love, care, and encourage, and to be my best friend next to you. To be wholesome, modest, and willing to fight for you.
Independence is freedom. In my case, that's true. I feel so free here at school, free to worship you without the ongoing stress of impressing old professors and peer pressure. I feel easier with temper, one that doesn't get so stressed. (Although school has it's fair shares...). I have learned the art of guarding my heart and how so important it is. :)
Lord, I am a woman in your army. I want to pick up that helmet, sword, and breastplate (haha, I feel like Legolas or something...) and do your plan! EMU is going to be a great place for me and I am so excited about the ministry you have laid for me. I feel you healing me. Lord. Please continue to mend my porcelain heart.
I'll be seeing you buddy,
Leah :)
When I realized that I needed to start taking this silly medicine, I was afraid that people would think I was crazy. I sometimes wonder if that is the reason that Richard left, but you know, I have found so much more to hope in! I realize that I am not crazy, you just want my joy to be pure and you want my thoughts to be clear, not all jumbled here and there.
Now as I sit here in the house and see EMU so close, I hunger so much for your word and the ability to spread it. I want to do it in a way that honors you and doesn't seem pushy. I just love you so much and I want to tell the world about what I have learned. I feel it's only fair. I want to come back to Oakland maybe and start a music/theatre ministry to spread the gospel. Maybe even travel. And even through all the past anger with Richard, I feel that you are calling me to have patience and use the opportunities that you have given to make you come first.
From the front porch looking in...that day will come one day. :)
I feel like Elizabeth Elliot. She prayed for guidance and learned that your relationship is the only true one. If we prepare our heart, you will bring us what we need. This is getting easier the more and more I await for you. :) If I ever were to be in a loving relationship again, I know that I want someone to study you with...someone to love, care, and encourage, and to be my best friend next to you. To be wholesome, modest, and willing to fight for you.
Independence is freedom. In my case, that's true. I feel so free here at school, free to worship you without the ongoing stress of impressing old professors and peer pressure. I feel easier with temper, one that doesn't get so stressed. (Although school has it's fair shares...). I have learned the art of guarding my heart and how so important it is. :)
Lord, I am a woman in your army. I want to pick up that helmet, sword, and breastplate (haha, I feel like Legolas or something...) and do your plan! EMU is going to be a great place for me and I am so excited about the ministry you have laid for me. I feel you healing me. Lord. Please continue to mend my porcelain heart.
I'll be seeing you buddy,
Leah :)
Fireflies...
I can't sleep, EVEN with exploding eyeballs. Insomnia stinks tonight.
"Cause I feel like such an insomniac,
Why Do I tire of counting sheep,
Cause I'm too tired to fall asleep..."
"Cause I feel like such an insomniac,
Why Do I tire of counting sheep,
Cause I'm too tired to fall asleep..."
Y'all let's head to the Fairgrounds!
It's rater early/late but my evening was fulfilled. I went to the county fair with my best friend Megan tonight. We met up with Shelby and some other church youth kids...but let's just say the evening was intriguing.
I felt me in my rain/cow manure trekkin' boots and baseball hat walking into the fair. Most people told me that I looked stupid but...PST! WHATEVER, they make me happy and that is all that matters. I was going to have fun, not enter one of the contests or to meet the president. : (I would STILL wear what I was wearing for the president.) I was walking with Meg and we saw Ben and Rich "evangelizing." They're job made me smile! I love seeing people out there making a difference and actually trying politely to spread the love of Jesus.
After a well worth fair evening full of junk food (okay, all I had was unsweet tea, but maybe that still counts?) and that stupid Lady Gaga song that is so vulgar that I changed the lyrics to "I wanna take a ride on your carousel." We also went to the Demolition Derby (actually pretty neat) and we sang karaoke at the pop singer show choir booth! I miss it so much! Rawr.
Anywho, tomorrow will be another day, but if I don't go to bed now....I think my eyeballs will explode....And that my friends, will not be pretty. :)
I'll be seeing you!
- Leah
I felt me in my rain/cow manure trekkin' boots and baseball hat walking into the fair. Most people told me that I looked stupid but...PST! WHATEVER, they make me happy and that is all that matters. I was going to have fun, not enter one of the contests or to meet the president. : (I would STILL wear what I was wearing for the president.) I was walking with Meg and we saw Ben and Rich "evangelizing." They're job made me smile! I love seeing people out there making a difference and actually trying politely to spread the love of Jesus.
After a well worth fair evening full of junk food (okay, all I had was unsweet tea, but maybe that still counts?) and that stupid Lady Gaga song that is so vulgar that I changed the lyrics to "I wanna take a ride on your carousel." We also went to the Demolition Derby (actually pretty neat) and we sang karaoke at the pop singer show choir booth! I miss it so much! Rawr.
Anywho, tomorrow will be another day, but if I don't go to bed now....I think my eyeballs will explode....And that my friends, will not be pretty. :)
I'll be seeing you!
- Leah
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