Riding Over Life

I've just recently realized how much I have neglected this blogger. I suppose the abundance of paper bound journals are to blame. There is just something about writing in leaflets that make journaling so pleasurable. Its also the mobility of journals that make capturing every moment as they happen so lovely. Overall, I can give a brief synopsis.
Summer is becoming exactly how everyone dreams it to be. I can not go a day without seeing my best friend and although my other best friend is a whole ocean away, having that "dreamy" type attitude and knowing that he's experiencing so many things he can't in the states remains comforting. I spend everyday living to the fullest and reminding myself why God is so good. Why and how he blesses me in everyday life. Even when there are so many obstacles being put in my way (ie - jobs, old relationships/struggles, health and family), I know that he provides. My friends remain supportive and we have planned so many extraordinary things to discover. I even rode a hot air balloon this past week! Another task off my bucket list! Knowing the risks I can take are making the decisions in my life seem not so hard and not so stressful. Why can't everything we do in life be as simple and adventurous as a hot air balloon ride? It seems dangerous, but if you take the precautions, learn to trust, and build some guts, anything is possible. Anything. I have learned that everyday is an open book. Learn to take life as it comes at you, to make each day count. I am ready to make my life a clay for my God to mold. :D

I've Got the Blues - Not Mac & Cheese

"A Friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." ~Proverbs 17:17




Friendship. A ten letter word that everyone yearns for. A thing that people have in their daily lives. A noun that I can thank God for everyday in my life. All I can say is that without my friends, I would not be the person I am today.My friends complete me. In a person's life they have their share of memories, right? But other than family, who do people usually spend those memories with? Exactly, friends. Friends are pretty much the rocks to relationships. The people that you want to spend your time with and the people that you trust. Other than my family and God… if I did not have my friends then I would be... lost. I have a reason to thank God everyday for the amazing friends that I have now. For being the people that I love. For being the people that give me hope. Hope in yesterday. Hope in Today. Hope in tomorrow. For being the crying shoulder that everyone needs. For being everything that has made me the person I am now, compared to the person I was. For being (insert positive effect here).

Man, I have it bad. And this music isn't helping. Why am I listening to Tarzan again? Phil Collins and your voice...I have the end of the year blues. Knowing that a week from now, I am going to be at home, waiting for camp to start. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family. There is just this thing about my boys, Jamie, and a few of my other girlfriends that just make school so easy to deal with. They keep life simple, reminding me that worries create problems, and life is an everyday thing. They are the closest thing to family outside of family for me and the more I think of them, the more I realize I am one of the luckiest people in the world. He may not remember this, but Justin told me once "Leah, I am really happy to have gotten to know you. Having friends like you remind me why life is good." Him telling me that has been on my heart ever since and knowing that I have people like him and our friends in my life remind me...I am so blessed.







"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

The Finale

I sit here, surrounded by boys, wondering whether or not I am ready for summer. Sitting here in the comfort of the boys, fulfills me. They give me a sense of home. Camp is going to be incredible - using the gifts God gave me to lead kids to Christ - but somehow, I still know I will miss the sense of family I have here. With Justin and Joel working as janitors, Gabe and Steve in Ireland, and Edwin and Tim too far away to even think of traveling...I am trying to remember what I did before them. Wait, that's right, I was uptight and worrisome. I knew those boys came in handy for something. They kind of set me free.

Majesty. That's what they're doing. A game of fighting, war, and destruction. Now, no, I am not doing it as well, but hearing the sounds of clashing swords, explosions, and mouse clicking is rather soothing. Those to me are the sounds of safety (not literally those things in real life). Yes, I have the most amazing girlfriends on campus who keep me stable...But the way that I feel with the boys, is different. I feel completely at home and like myself. It's weird I know, but I'm use to the stench of boy.

Camp is creeping closer and closer. I haven't completely finished my application yet, but the more I think about it, the more I get excited. I could finally be working with youth as a senior counselor. Staying in the cabins with them and actually being a good influence...having bible studies and loving the fact that I would be with the kids. Theater too - Being able to use theater to begin missions, even in the smallest of places... that would be awesome. :) I want to make a difference because helping change the world has to start somewhere. :)

New Days Start With Strange Dreams

After last night, I am glad I woke up at the time I did. I figured I'd sleep all day. Waking up wasn't the hard part, it was leaving behind an unfinished dream that I kept falling back asleep to finish. All that I know is that I can't blog about certain people before I go to sleep, or I dream about them.

It's a brand new day. I got up and realized how wonderful hot showers are. Today is going to embark a new adventure. My dad goes in for surgery tomorrow and for someone who has spent her entire life taking care of her lovely parents to make sure she can keep them as long as possible... this is so hard. I wasn't like this until grandma died.


When she died, my world crashed. I didn't cry, but I was terribly pissed. Sitting on the bathroom floor, just wishing she would knock on the door and tell me that she had to come in. A week before she died, she asked me to sing for her. I use to be really shy, in front of everyone, and I declined. I was so bashful, towards everyone, completely different from the person I am now. When she started going downhill and soon died (a day before I was suppose to come see her in the hospital), I felt like it was my fault, like I could of stopped it. From that day on, it was my job to take care of everyone, to make sure I could prevent things. It was also the start of me working hard to use music and theater as my ministry. To spread my gift to as many people as it could reach. To hopefully give a helping hand. Maybe that is also why auditions are so stressful for me. Because she can see me, from heaven, and I want to do my best, not just for myself, but for her and God.

Wow, I could vent on that subject forever. But! God has blessed me in so many ways. I am going to use today to glorify him. After staff meeting, West Virginia, here I come. I am going to use who I am to help other people. God you made me that way and I can't change it. I can help other people as long as I agree to help myself. Well, this trip will be helping myself.

You blessings never fail. This week will be fine. And you will always be with me.

Sentimental Reasonings

I haven't written in a while. This could be due to the rise of joy within my life. It also could be due to the lack of time and effort to want to write down my feelings. All in all, I'm here now, writing, venting, learning the ways of words to express the inner most feelings of my heart.

I blame Joel. I was fine with leaving school for the summer until he brought it up. Friends are my rock, my fire, my life - they keep me burning and living for another day. Joel is one of the friends and the more I sit around thinking about time without my boys, I wonder, "How in the world am I going to function?"

Now, don't get me wrong...I have home friends that I love to pieces. But, you have to understand these boys to understand where I am coming from. They live everyday like they have no worry. (Now, I know they worry, but most of the time, it's just fun and the responsibility they have is just done - no complaining, just done quickly so they can get back to life). Even when they don't mean too, they always teach me valuable lessons about cherishing life and time and time again remind me of the 1 Timothy 4:12 verse : "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." I love it and I love them.

Now, once again, don't get me wrong. It is a little weird to be that close with guys all the time. I mean, there are sometimes, I feel completely left out and strange, like they wish I didn't belong, but I know better. They just have their boy giggles and I sit there and shake my head with the "those silly kids" attitude. Sometimes the testosterone levels rise a little bit too high for my own good, but somehow, I am able to measure it back down. The more I realize that although I am a women, I love those boys like they were my own brothers.

Pretty much, I can see ahead, see all the great things awaiting me, and that is what is getting me through a lot of things right now. I have learned to have joy in every situation and even though sometimes you don't always understand why things happen, you know God is on your side and he loves you. He wants to see you succeed and he wants to see you do his will. I have joy because I have people to remind me to take delight in the little things and not dwell on the impurities of the world. God brought me those boys as a blessing. That's a good word for it - they are my blessing.

Camp (if I get the job) is going to be a great experience this summer. It's what I have been working toward for a long time. I have been wanting to be a counselor for LONG, LONG time. :) We'll see what God has in store for me.

Musical is coming up. I feel like I could vomit. I just wish people would stop talking about it for a while. I want it so bad, I could taste it. I am going to leave the subject for a while... at least until auditions are over...so I can actually breathe and concentrate on schoolwork ( maybe...?) and rehearse my song/monologue in peace without worry.

I am so sentimental. I am remembering so much and fretting so much. I just wish that I could just learn to suck it up and "be a man..." On second thought, Gabe might not like that too much. haha.

Tired. Sleep.